Why Families Without Fathers?
In 1997 I worked at Acer America, and while working there, I hired a great PR person, Diane. When I left Acer and started my own PR agency, Diane came along and started with me on that new endeavor as my first employee. During that time, Diane got married to Kevin, and she started a new chapter in her life.
In a flash, Diane and Kevin were parents; there whole life was ahead of them. Kevin worked at National Semiconductor and Diane found herself leaving PR for a more rewarding career — teaching and raising their child. Then, one weekend tragedy struck out of the blue. I was not there, but Diane told me all about it.
She told me how Kevin wasn’t feeling well. She explained how within a few hours that his headache was becoming unbearable and how he knew something was wrong. She rushed him to the hospital, and it was clear that something very serious was happening. Kevin needed immediate medical attention and was airlifted to a major hospital. The short ending to this was that Kevin died from an unusual brain condition that had simply never been diagnosed. It was a one in a million tragedy that left Diane and their 1-year old daughter in an unimaginable situation.
That winter I too thought that Kevin’s untimely death was also a one in a million happening. After all, he was young and it just seemed that his death was one of those “it never happens to me” type of event that we read about in the news.
And so I thought… Until two years later, one of my dearest friends, Brandon Garrett, past away from a rare form of stomach cancer. Like Kevin, Brandon had only been married for a short time, and like Kevin, Brandon was a father.
Brandon was like a brother to me (but that’s a different story). Being several years younger than me, I could see the potential that Brandon possessed in this world. He worked hard, studied hard and eventually got his dream job and career that every boy dreams of… Brandon became a firefighter.
I watched Brandon date Kris, and over the years, the two of the married and had a daughter. It was an idyllic life for the two of them. Then, one day I got the news that Bubb (that’s what we called Brandon), that Bubb was in the hospital. That was June. By August, Bubb had passed away, leaving Kris and their daughter.
And, that is when I realized that fathers die all the time. What seems like a one in a million chance of happening, happens millions of times over. And, it’s not the grief of losing a friend that is hard to deal with… but, it’s having to witness the family impact, and knowing that the lives of Diane, Kriss and their children are forever changed.
I guess I could have accepted that. I guess it would have been easier to sum it up to life’s hardships. But, I could not. A spark was ignited in me that refused to let their deaths fade away into oblivion. If there was a purpose to this, the purpose was then to help others, other families.
And, that is why Families Without Fathers exists today. Although Kevin and Brandon are gone, they are here in this organization. They are here to remind me and others that these tragedies happen all the time… to real people, real children… in our communities.
And in closure of this first blog for Families Without Fathers, I have to give solemn recognition to Kevin and Brandon. For it was their passing that created this organization to help those who need it the most.
- Chris McKie
